


The Rose

by takiko



Series: Training, dancing, angsting, loving through 3B, Malec Edition [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Injured Alec Lightwood, Light Angst, M/M, Romantic Gestures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 19:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16939305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takiko/pseuds/takiko
Summary: Based on the 3B Malec sneak peek! How are they both coping with everything that happened? Maybe a nice, honest, heartfelt talk is all they need. But can they open up?"Don't push me away!" Magnus fails spectacularly at following that simple rule. Still... a rose? How sweet is that?





	The Rose

Alec grunted in pain as he turned onto his other side, and looked at the empty spot beside him with a sleepy frown. It turned instantly into a relieved smile when he heard noise coming from the general direction of the kitchen. He was too lazy to look at his phone for the time, but the sheets next to him were cold, even the lingering warmth of Magnus’ body heat long gone, and bright sunlight filtered in through the huge windows, indicating it was probably him, who slept uncharacteristically late that morning. He usually woke up around seven even on his days off, but… life threatening injuries tend to do a serious number on a person’s body. Even if said body belongs to a Shadowhunter.

He shifted carefully onto his back and stared blankly at the ceiling, trying to find enough will and strength to get up. When after a few moments lying still seemed the most appealing possibility, he just let himself be comforted by the familiar touch of golden sheets below him, silently enjoying the smell of coffee and the scent of something sweet in the air. Magnus’ belgian waffles maybe… Oh. 

Oh!

No, he won’t eat those again anytime soon…

The thought was like an imaginary stab to the heart, accompanied by the very much real flash of agony that cursed through the now almost invisible wound on his chest. Catarina patched him up like the professional healer that she was, but warned him about the long-lasting effects of an adamas-inflicted injury. As if Alec didn’t know better than anyone. Well, actually he REALLY didn’t know until two days ago. He had some serious injuries in the past, but they were mostly bruises, demon bites or cuts, and never anything that deep. The physical part was one thing, but what he felt inside… 

He was one big mess emotionally, whether he wanted to admit or not… He couldn’t and will never blame Jace for what the Owl did, but sometimes his stupid brain was telling him a different story. In his nightmares it was always Jace’s face leaning over him… his brother’s hands stabbing him… his parabatai betraying him with a joyful gleam in those mismatched eyes of his. He hated himself for even thinking like this, and not just about Jace. There was the whole Magnus situation.

Speaking of which… 

Hearing a soft rustling, he looked up and immediately tried to sit and blink out the cobwebs of sleepiness from his eyes. He wanted to be awake and aware of everything, especially after the little fight they had last night. Even without his emblematic makeup Magnus looked like a vision standing in the doorway, surrounded by morning sunlight that gently kissed his skin, and reflected off his brown eyes, making them ironically almost like they were golden in color. 

His ever elegant steps, his on point outfit, his perfectly spiked hair, his smiling face... If Alec didn’t know better, the sight could have fooled him. 

That thought brought back memories from last night again, so he looked down at the tray to hide the frown on his face. There was coffee and croissant and a glass of champagne (really Magnus?), and a small vase with a red rose. 

A rose! 

He sneaked a glance at the beloved face. The smile was still in place, and damn, but Magnus made it really difficult for him to stay angry. 

A rose! How sweet is that?

“What’s today’s special occasion?” he finally asked, hating how weak and raspy his voice sounded.

“It’s your day off,” said Magnus, sitting on the bed, while cautiously sliding the breakfast tray towards him. “And I want to make the most of it.”

Alec knew he was pouting. Having the day off was just another remainder that he is forced to stay in bed, when his entire family is falling apart, and the Clave wants nothing more than to put the blame on him for everything that happened with Lilith. Well, not on him, but Jace, which was the last thing his parabatai needed after all the trauma, he went through. He HATED feeling weak. Being weak was always his worst fear, because a weak man could never protect his loved ones, like he wanted to protect them. Especially now, that Magnus…

“That’s actually really sweet,” he replied, just to say something, and because it WAS freakin’ romantic. 

“I thought so,” smiled the other, looking like he wanted to kiss the pout from his face, but leaned back instead and inclined his head toward his chest. “How do you feel?”

“Fine. I feel fine. I’m fine,” he rushed to say, earning a loud sigh and a disbelieving shake of the head from his boyfriend. 

“Catarina said the same, but she also said you absolutely HAVE to take today off. Which means no paperwork, no arguing on the phone, and not even one mention of the Clave. Your family approves.”

“You’re just making this up. I don’t remember Catarina saying any of those things yesterday afternoon.” Alec said, plucking the delicious looking croissant off the tray, and taking a bite to soothe the rumbling of his stomach. 

“She was here again this morning for a quick check-up, and the fact that you slept right through it tells me the diagnosis was perfectly correct.” 

Magnus’ chastising voice was like a caress, a touch he craved ever since the other stepped into the room, and Alec cursed himself for being an idiot. Rationally, he knew that last night’s argument was stupid. He knew they were both hurting and blaming themselves, and he wanted nothing more than just curl into Magnus’ embrace and forget about the whole world for one day. 

His gaze wandered over to the rose again. It was beautiful. His fingers found their way to it, and absentmindedly started to fondle the velvety petals with utmost care. 

“Wait a minute!” he exclaimed, throwing a disbelieving stare at Magnus at the sudden thought that crossed his mind. “Where did you get this? You couldn’t have mag… I mean, don’t tell me, you actually went to buy flowers in the morning.” 

“That was the first plan, but I didn’t want to leave you all alone here, when you’re injured, so I just asked Catarina to conjure one for me before she left. My reward was a long speech about how disgustingly sappy I am, and this,” he smiled, reaching for the rose, but brushing Alec’s fingers instead. ”And you don’t have to refrain yourself from using the word ‘magic’ in front of me, Alexander.”

“Just like you don’t have to refrain yourself from showing your true feelings about this whole mess in front of me,” bit back Alec a little harsher than intended, regretting it almost immediately. 

Magnus didn’t seem to be hurt or taken aback by his reaction though. Even his hand stayed where it was, playing gently with Alec’s fingers and the rose, his gaze lingering on the Shadowhunter’s face, and Alec was dying to know, what’s going on in his head. This was the exact same argument as before, and painful as it was he just KNEW, they can’t dismiss it to the point where it’s going to blow up. They did it in the past. It never ended well. 

He put the half-eaten croissant back, slid the tray carefully to the side, then scooted closer, until they were only inches apart and leaned in for the kiss he desired since the moment Magnus stepped into the room. 

It was nothing more than a barely-there contact of the lips, a sweet and familiar touch that left comforting warmth behind, penetrating his skin and reaching into the depth of his aching soul, spreading light inside of him like a shining ember of hope, chasing away memories of fights and bad dreams. The sadness and fear – his almost constant companions since his injury –, suddenly seemed far-far away, as if Magnus’ very presence managed to keep them at bay. 

He sighed and rested his forehead comfortably against Magnus’, inhaling the unique combination of familiar scents, because they meant Magnus, and Magnus meant home, and the prospect of home now held a very different meaning than before they met. 

‘Before’ nowadays meant those times, when he didn’t even know, how much his life was lacking something integral, something that couldn’t be named or squeezed into some kind of category with a label saying ‘love’, ‘affection’ or ‘warmth’. It was like a blend of all those three and a thousand more indefinable feelings, and those were just THERE every time Magnus was present. His life wasn’t so very different than before… but MORE in every sense of the word. And it was all because of this man, who now hides his own pain from him, not understanding, that Alec’s suffering mostly comes from the desire to help him in some way, ANY way he can. 

But how can he make Magnus see that? 

He leaned back a little, thinking hard, fearing from his own clumsy ways of expressing feelings. His hand bumped into the tray, making the glasses clattering together, and his gaze found the rose again. 

He reached for it almost instinctively then brought it between them, looking up at Magnus with serious eyes, and an almost pleading expression. 

“This is the only magic I need from you. The magic of your caring, beautiful soul. The magic of the love that shines from your every action and every look you give me. The magic of your presence, because that’s the only thing I need. I know I didn’t give you much reason recently to believe me this, but you are one of the most important persons in my life, and I want to help you SO badly, but somehow always manage to just hurt you in some way. I wanted to tell you this last night, but it came out all wrong. I’m sorry for that.”

Alec didn’t even realize he hung his head, so he startled a little when delicate fingers touched his chin, and made him look up again. Magnus’ brown eyes were full of love and gratitude, and when he spoke his voice was deep and lacked those forced happiness, Alec hated so much.

“I’m not entirely without fault either, Alexander. I was the first one to ask you not to push me away, but I’m the one who has a hard time following that rule.” Reaching out with one hand, he framed Alec’s face, gently caressing the skin under his left eye with his thumb, and he, like always, just pressed his cheek into the touch, because it was impossible not to. “You have a tendency to try and put me on a pedestal, Alec, but I’m not as perfect as you may think. I have my faults and you have your own. And there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

“But yesterday…”

“None of that. You were hurting, you were impatient, but you also said things that were painfully true. And me… I was stubborn to a point that I’m sure was hurting YOU, but it was only because your injury scared me more than I dare to admit.” His voice faded, as he reached out to touch the barely recognizable point of entry on his boyfriend’s skin. 

Alec also looked down. The wound seemed almost insignificant. I wasn’t even a scar, just a slight discoloration, which according to Catarina will also disappear in time. But to them it was much more than that. Even Alec couldn’t brush it away like nothing, like he did with most of his past injuries. This was close. This could have been deadly. And he understood Magnus’ pain, because he lived through the same thing when for a few agonizing hours he thought the Soul Sword took his warlock’s life, too. 

Magnus continued, in a subdued, silent voice, but his hand stayed where it was, trembling slightly. “I didn’t want to get into a fight, because I was afraid it would aggravate your wound if I upset you. So I brushed your complaints aside, even though they were very much valid. Because it hurts, Alexander. It hurts right here…” he said, grabbing one of Alec’s hands with gentle fingers, guiding it to his own chest, just above his heart. “Where my magic used to be, now there is nothing. Sometimes I find myself reaching out for it, but there’s only empty space. And it hurts. It hurts so much,” he finished in a choked sob, and Alec reached for him without any conscious thought, enveloping him in his arms, holding on for dear life. 

Magnus’ pain was like a real, living being in itself, a dark thing, slowly eating him away on the inside, where no one could see it. But Alec was seeing it now, because Magnus let him. He finally let him! And here, in the midst of this most miserable moment Alec realized, they’re going to be alright. 

Magnus’ magic may not come back. He may stay a mortal and he’ll need to learn to live with it. Or maybe he will get his immortality back somehow, and then they have to bear with the always lingering thought of Alec dying of old age, while Magnus has to live on, dealing with the loss. The Clave may take Alec’s title away, or he could die anytime in a demon attack. So many hardships, so many scary possibilities were awaiting, but Alec for the first time in a long time, felt almost content. Because he has Magnus and Magnus has him. They’ll help each other, they can cling to each other, absorbing the other’s pain, and transforming it into hope. Because there will be always hope, as long as they are together. 

And Alec will fight tooth and nail for them to always have this. Each other.

**Author's Note:**

> So... this turned out a lot more angsty, than I originally intended. After seeing that sneak peek, I was really curious: what Alec's little frown is about? That whole scene was totally sweet, but very weird at the same time. I tried to dig into their feelings. 
> 
> I'm hungarian, so I can only hope my english isn't too dreadful.


End file.
